Life Sketch
Rex J. Caffee The Early Years
Written by: Jed Caffee (Rex's brother)
(In loving memory of my brother Rex, you will be sorely missed)

Rex came into this world on June 14, 1971 in San Bernardino, Ca. He was Rick and Donna's first child. His father was in the Air Force and was currently in Vietnam when Rex was born. However, a couple of months later his father returned from Vietnam and in Dec. of 71 the family was stationed in Dyess AFB, Abilene, TX. In Feb of 73 Rex's brother was born and the family was complete. Three years later the family moved overseas to Germany where they would spend the next three years. This was where Rex first learned to ski and his mother was introduced to the LDS church.

In 1978 the Caffee family moved to Cabot, Arkansas. Here is where Rex first played football and developed his childhood love of the game. This was a fun time for a young boy as the family had a small farm with horses, cows, a goat, chickens, several dogs to include his favorite, a German Shephard named Whitey. Rex was always saving money and one time he wanted to go to California and live with his grandparents there. It was a wild dream with no real reason why. It wasn't really thought out as even our grandparents had no idea we were coming. But he had $20 (a lot of money in the late 70s for a kid) and Rex said he would buy me lunch at McDonalds if I went with him. McDonalds was a real treat so off we went. We ended up talking our friends Woody and Scott into going as well. About a mile down the road (and what seemed like an all day hike) we noticed Woody and Scott's mom driving up the street looking for us. When their mom got close we tried to hide in the woods but Woody and Scott were terrified of their mom as she was a big woman. So they came out of the woods and got into the car as me and Rex stayed hiding in the woods. We decided to scrub the mission and return home. I don't think our parents ever knew of our attempt. But Woody and Scott were restricted from seeing us again until they were adults and I never did get that McDonalds meal.

After two years in Arkansas the family moved to Fayetteville, N.C. Rex was finishing the 4t​h ​grade when we arrived. We grew up in a little blue collar neighborhood where Rex met his childhood best friend Eric Evans. Growing up Rex was in a close group of friends (Eric, David and I) and we did everything together. BB gun wars, ninja throwing star battles with paper made ninja stars, played kick the bucket into the late night during summer break. Times certainly have changed as then we would drink from the water hose when we got thirsty and would return home when the street lights came on at night. His favorite game was Star Wars and he would invent different rules such as incorporating dice rolls to determine who won different battles. Star Wars meant everything to him as a child. But Rex had a love for games. He would spend hours and hours creating new games and writing the rules in his notebooks. He must have created thousands of games. Rex continued to play football. In elementary he played Pee Wee football and would go on to play Junior Varsity as well as receiving his High School Letter from varsity football at 71s​t ​High School, where he later graduated. In Junior High he was also well known for his wrestling, he made it far up the ladder and almost to state before his defeat. His Olympic Headlock was his signature move and he sure did practice it on his little brother. For some reason he liked me to say uncle and would lock in that signature headlock until I did.

After Rex graduated high school he went off to college at Rick's College in Idaho. He spent a couple of years there before going on his mission to Hawaii. He thought he was the luckiest guy because he was selected for Hawaii. He loved it there and really enjoyed the Hawaiian culture. He returned and attended Utah Valley State College where he met his next best friend Tom Opdahl. They had a love for games and this was the early stages of the modern PC before the internet was really popular. Computer Games had to have the computers connected via a network in order to play with each other. The internet simply wasn't fast enough then. Rex, Tom and Rob along with other college buddies would play Warcraft anytime they had a free minute. They lived in different apartments in the building but had the network cables running down the hallways and staircases in order to connect to each other. I remember Rex got a hold of his first 20 inch monitor. This was during the time when monitors were normally 14 inches. That 20-inch monitor must have weighed 100 lbs. and it was held together with duct tape, but boy was that his prize possession.

Rex was very interested in finances. He got his first real job at Fidelity Investments as a stock broker where he received his Series 7 license. He was so proud of that accomplishment. He studied night and day for months to pass that test. After a few years at Fidelity he moved to Phoenix to live with me, where he landed a job at Merrill Lynch. He loved finances but hated cold calling and trying to find investors. This is the same time I was finishing my college degree and 10 years of service in the Air Force. 9-11 occurred and I applied and was accepted for Officer Candidate School (OCS) in the Army. Rex decided he wanted to become an officer as well but since he didn't have his degree completed, he would have to enlist and then apply for OCS. After Rex completed basic training and Advanced Individual Training (AIT) in Military Intelligence he was stationed at Ft. Gordon. He wanted to apply for OCS right away but the Iraqi War started and Rex was deployed there twice. Here is his first email he sent me from the Gulf on April 23, 2003:
Hey everybody, finally, we got our email back. It has been too long. Let me tell ya​ a​bout some of my experiences out here.

My first day in Kuwait was interesting. I arrived by plane in the middle of​t​he night. I got off the plane and directly on to a bus. We were guarded​ ​by soldiers with M-16s and a couple of 50 cals mounted up on some hummers.​ T​ he hummers were in front and in the back of the convoy as we headed to​ ​Camp Doha. The lights were off on the bus and the curtains were drawn. I​ ​remembered the anxiety that I felt as we headed to camp. Peaking causally​ o​ut every so often to see what was out there. It felt like driving in the​ w​rong part of a city at night by yourself. Little would I image the fear I​ w​ould encumber months later. Being stuck here at Camp Doha really sucks. ​ Y​ou can't leave the camp and you work all the time. I was placed on night​ s​hift and worked from 9 pm to 10 am everyday. Once a week we would have​ s​tupid "alarm drills" that they did at 2 pm equivalent to my 2 am. Where the​ s​irens would go off and someone on the loud sound system, loud enough​ ​everyone in camp can hear, would make an announcement "exercise, exercise,​ ​exercise". I hated it so much to wake up in the middle of my sleep cycle​ a​nd put on my gas mask and later the whole suit go to a bunker until the​ s​irens stop and someone would get on the mike and say "all clear" I would​ ​then have to walk all the way to the company office and report in, a 5 min walk. Then I would walk back to the bay and go back to bed. When the war actually started, I was at work, it started at night. I knew​ ​when the missiles were launched for Baghdad and when the attacks began. It​ w​ as weird to me the amount of time it took the missiles to reach their​ d​estination. You kind of think instant hits when those bad boys are launched​ ​not hours later. It was kind of cool to see what I got to see and know. All​ ​was fine and dandy that night. I went to bed like normal about 12ish​ ​(noon.) Only to wake up to a horror I have never experienced in my life and​ ​never ever want to again. It happened about 1:30ish just enough time to​ ​barely get into a deep sleep. Then it happened. The sound that still​ h​ aunts now "The siren alarm" I woke up in a daze. My heart went from a​ s​ low sleeping state to humming bird rate in seconds. Everyone is yelling​ "​ gas, gas, gas"!!!! I climbed out of bed, from the top bunk, and grabbed my​ g​ as mask pack and ripped it open. You are trained to put that one on first​ a​nd you should do it in 8 seconds.

The only thing I was thinking was this is for REAL!! I watched my​ ​bunk mate next to me wake up from a stupor or maybe it was horror, not a​ ​reaction you really ever see on someone's face. I only watched him as I​ c​limbed out of bed, and yet I remember his facial reaction. I adorn myself​ w​ith the mask and then went to my bag that had my JLIST, my chemo suit. In​ t​ raining you put this suit on over your DCU's (my uniform) but I don't sleep​ w​ith my uniform on so I just put it on. I still had to put on boots and it felt like I was wasting too much time getting this on and not heading for​ t​ he bunker.

There were two types of attacks they were going to use on us. The​ ​regular explosive and chemo. I knew if I was hit with the explosive it​ ​would be a quick death (hopefully), but if it was gas it would be a slow and​ ​painful death. I feared gas soo much. We know they have it and that they​ ​have used it on their own people so why wouldn't they use it on us. Now​ ​putting on this JLIST for the first time I ran into some problems. The suit​ ​has to be kept in a sealed bag. So of course I couldn't get it open with​ ​all the duct tape I had to over it, so I just ripped the bags open I didn't​ ​care if I wasn't suppose to, at that moment I didn't care about any of rules​ a​ ll I was worried about was surviving and not being exposed to chemo. I finally got my JLIST and boots and gloves and then put on my flack jacket​ a​nd helmet. It's about 40 to 50 lbs all together lucky it was only in the​ ​80's and not the 100's, temperature wise. I then ran to the bunkers that​ a​ re outside. They're above ground made of reinforced concrete and covered​ with sand bags. About 5 of us were in my bunker. You get in and you check​ e​ach other to make sure your hood and everything else is on right and that​ t​ here was not any exposure to air on any part of your body. Then you just​ s​ it there and wait. This is where time stands still.

I remember praying asking "that if I was going to die that it would be​ a​ quick death and NOT a slow death, a gas death." I had guys next to me​ a​nd I didn't want to see them gasping or choking from chemo either. I was​ ​worried that they could panic and grab me and break my seal by accident. I​ ​sat there not moving. I didn't want to make gaps in my suit so I sat like a​ s​tatue waiting for the all clear sign. The whole time the sirens were going​ ​and someone was on the mike yelling this is not a drill, take cover, this​ ​is not a drill! This horror went on for a half an hour and then the​ sweetest thing... "all clear, all clear, all clear." Sleep was lost with​ ​me. My adrenaline was pumping for a while to come. As soon as the all clear sign was given I took off my mask and gloves and boots and headed for​ ​the company to report in. I was still wearing all the rest of the stuff and​ ​made my 5 min hike to check in. Then proceeded to head back to the bay where​ ​I sleep, the warehouse that I call home.

I only got a quarter of the way back to the bay when the sirens went​ o​ ff again. I felt better prepared this time since I was clad in my JLIST. ​ ​And I made it to a bunker in no time at all. The siren and the announcement​ w​ ere the same and I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrorized to death​ a​ gain. For this time I heard an unfamiliar swoosh sound, I immediately put​ i​ t together as the Patriots launched. I didn't know where they were but​ ​over here by the company I must have been close to them. Some said later that they saw the smoke trail, but I was too worried about my gas mask to​ l​ook at what the sound was. The sound was loud, it had to be to be heard​ ​over the sirens. I jumped into a bunker that was nearby and was alone. I​ r​ealized just how much comfort there was with being with my fellow soldiers. Being alone in a bunker was really hard. I kept wondering what was going​ o​ n. This time it didn't end in a half hour. The sirens had stopped but no clear sign was given. I knew something was up or the Patriots wouldn't h​ave gone off. Out of all 24 times that the alarms went off during the war this time was the longest time I had to wait. Finally after over an hour ​t​he all clear sign was given. Soaked in sweat I took off my mask and gloves​ p​ulled my hood back and took off my helmet to get some hopefully fresh air. ​ I​t was this alarm that I learned that I was ok as long as I could hear the​ ​sweet sound of the birds. During that long time of worrying, I knew if I​ ​could hear the birds that the gas had not reached here. The birds would die​ ​a lot faster than it takes to drop a human, and I heard lots of birds. I​ ​didn't notice them much before, but after that I listen for them every time.

The night or should I say day, because that is what it was, I had two​ ​more awakenings to accrue before I had to get up for work. I only got about ​two to three hours of sleep that first sleep cycle. At work it was no b​etter we had four more alarms during the night for a total of 8 attacks for​ ​the whole day. For the next 10 days we attacked mostly during the day,​ d​uring my sleep time. I was breaking down and about to lose it.

One good thing about doing what I do is that I get all the latest​ i​nformation. I found out which alarms were real and which were false​ ​alarms. Out of the first 12 about half were false ones, but the next 12​ ​were all real. We had the Intel of where the SSM (Surface to Surface​ M​issiles) were coming from and where the missiles were heading. I mentioned​ ​in my last email to everybody that I slept under the crosshairs of the​ e​nemy, I think some of you thought I meant that figuratively, let me​ ​reassure you quite the contrary. We knew the area of where they were,​ t​aking them out wasn't so easy. They would hide the launchers under a​ ​building, come out to shoot and then back under cover. As soon as they turned​ ​on the missile system we would know where they were and that is why they​ w​ould immediately hide after a launch.

One thing I did learn early in my ducking for cover was that the​ ​missiles with chemo made no explosion, only a pop. I probably won't even​ h​ ear it depending on where they hit. So every time I didn't hear an​ ​explosion I worried even more, that is why I listened so conscientiously for the​ b​irds.

Only a couple of times did I hear an explosion but that is for another​ ​time. I just want to share a little of what has happened to me. There were​ ​more things even before the war.

I just want to say how much I appreciated all the care packages that​ y​ou'll have sent. The gummy bears were great and my supply has lasted me​ ​through the war. The greatest thing that has helped me take my mind off the​ ​war has been the DVD movies. The first day that I didn't have an interruption in my sleep, I came back from work and popped one in and took my​ ​mind off of my situation. Unfortunately half way through the movie I was​ ​interrupted by the sirens. The first two weeks of the war were the worst. ​ I​ was too scared to take a shower. You didn't want to be that exposed in​ c​ase an attack was made. I slept with my LIST on even though it was hot​ e​nough without it. I was in a state of paranoia. I would jump when someone​ ​raised their voice. People would yell "gas, gas, gas" when the sirens went​ ​off and you just associated the two as the same thing. Also, I heard those​ ​damn sirens come from the weirdest places. AC going off or steam vents from​ b​uildings or vehicles and the TV that would replay attacks over Baghdad​ ​which had the alarms going off in the background. Many times the TV​ g​ave a start to soldiers. Like I said I was terrorized from the drama of​ ​this war. Today I had another episode when a high powered vacuum was being​ ​used down the hall. It made the same tone as the sirens do. I wonder if​ ​I'll ever get over that.

Things have slowed down for us, no more 96 hour work weeks. We're still not​ supposed to have any days off yet, but they are lightening up on everything and​ i​t is just a matter of time. I will try to get to each of you personally​ ​via e-mail as soon as I can.
Thanks for your support.

Rex attained the rank of Sergeant and at the end of his 4 year enlistment the Army offered to send him to OCS. But for Rex it was too little too late. He got out of the Army and stayed with me for a while in Missouri until he figured out his next move.

The Later Years
Written by: Stacie Caffee

Rex and I met on a blind date. Our best friend's mother-in-law Lorraine set us up. I was at my friend, Sydney's bridal shower when Lorraine asked if I was dating anyone. I told her no. She mentioned that she knew a guy named Rex who is her son-in-law's best friend. A couple of weeks passed and I had the thought to call up my friend and see if she could get Rex's phone number from Lorraine. I got his number and decided to call him.
For our first date, we met in Sandy at a Thai Restaurant. My first impression of him was, "He's handsome! Good, he has a full head of hair." As we ate, we talked about his army days. He was very easy to talk to and I didn't have to keep the conversation going. We were at the restaurant for quite a while to the point that the waitress was kind of hinting for us to leave. We got the hint and Rex asked if I wanted to go to a movie? I said sure! I was very impressed with him and had a great first date. From then on we went out pretty much every week except for when I went to see my friend in Arizona for a week. Even while I was there I thought a lot about Rex and even talked with him while I was there. We met the end of March. We got engaged in August and got married on October 10, 2008 in the Mount Timpanogos Temple. Rex was 37 yrs. old and I was 31 when we married.

Our first year of marriage was great! It was smooth sailing. We lived in a 2 bedroom house that I purchased back in 2006 in Orem. We enjoyed having date nights and spending time together. We went white water rafting down the Colorado River. It was a BLAST! We also got a dog named Spaz to prepare us for children. Our first child, Charsi came August 16, 2010. She was such a joy to have in the house. I took the year off from teaching to be home with Charsi. Rex was in school at UVU and received his Bachelor's degree in Finance. It was a HUGE blessing because he was able to get the GI Bill which paid for his schooling (tuition, books, and living expenses).

Our second daughter, Sadie came along February 22, 2012 (same day as uncle Jed's birthday). She was in the NICU due to Herschsprung disease. She was able to have surgery when she was 2 months old to remove 8 inches of her colon. This was a difficult, but faith promoting time for us. We felt the love of others and felt the comfort from the Holy Ghost during this time.

Our last child, Ace came along on December 9, 2013. We were so happy that we finally got a little boy for daddy to wrestle with. We felt our family was complete since both of us got married later in life.

Rex enjoyed finance and keeping up to date with the stock market. We decided to have Rex stay home with the kids while I worked as a Special Education teacher. This was something that I am passionate about and absolutely love. Rex felt strongly that he needed to be home to build that relationship with the kids.

In 2015, we were busting at the seams in our 2 bedroom house, so after 3 years of putting our house up for sale, we finally sold it and found a home in Eagle Mountain City Center. It was the perfect house with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, a man cave for Rex, built-in shelves for games, a finished basement, and an amazing food storage room. We had moved to Zion with an amazing view of the stars, plenty of kids to play with and away from the hustle and bustle of city life.

As a hobby, Rex created and designed games (card and board games). He attended guilds and conferences to improve his skills as a game designer. He loved game testing and finding ways to improve other games. Every week he had his game night with his buddies, whom he called his friends. Rex entered a couple of games into Salt Con and received some awards. He even tried to kickstart one of his games. He was very talented in his creations and in balancing the games.

Rex had a great impact on the youth. He served in the young men, as a Sunday school teacher, primary teacher, in the high priest group leadership, Elder's quorum secretary, and hometeacher.

For our 10th wedding anniversary, Rex and I went to the Bahamas. My parents watched the kids for a week while we went. We were able to spend some time in Florida at an airbnb in Fort Lauderdale. A couple of days later, we boarded the ship for the Bahamas. It was a wonderful time. All you can eat buffets, eating escargot for the first time, exploring 3 different Islands and walking through little shops, and swimming in clear blue waters. On the ship, there was lots of entertainment. We went to a movie, game shows, comedy show and saw some dance performers.

For the last 2 years, Rex home schooled Charsi. This was something he really enjoyed doing. He would take the kids to and from school and then have that time to teach Charsi for 3rd and 4th grades. He wanted to make sure that Charsi had a good understanding of math and the love for the scriptures. For part of her reading, they would spend some time reading from the Book of Mormon together.

During the last few months, Rex and I went on the Keto diet. Rex lost 40 pounds within 2 months and was super diligent with it. I, on the other hand, went off the bandwagon often but was able to lose 30 lbs. and keep it for a short amount of time.

In March 2020, COVID-19 hit and things were shutting down. The kids did distance learning from home. I worked from home and created a Google Classroom in which my students participated in lessons and activities. It was a different and odd time of ordering things on-line, social distancing and wearing masks wherever we went. Rex helped the kids with their learning at home.

Rex was always up to date on what was happening in the world. He had a gift of discernment and was good at keeping us stocked up on our food storage. He also invested in some silver a few years back. He was really into learning about the signs of the times and watching people's experiences of Near Death Experiences. Several times, Rex mentioned to me that he wasn't afraid to die. He was one to warn others of things and to help them get prepared.

This summer, we were able to take a trip down to Bryce Canyon National Park with some neighbors. We found a place where our 3 families could all be together. It was free, but it had no running water or toilet. Luckily, the Bangerters have a princess potty that they brought and the Shipley's had their trailer so we had access to 2 potties. We played and fished at Tropic reservoir. It was fun to just relax on the fishing boat and kayaks. We had dinner at this European Burger place. It was about $17 per dish, but it had homemade buns and croissants. It was worth the experience. I was so glad that we went and had that time to spend together.

On July 17th, 2020 Rex and I went to the park to play pickleball. We were both tired and not putting too much energy into the game. At one point, Rex went down and exclaimed "It snapped!" Rex had torn his Achilles Tendon. Luckily a girl and her mother were at the courts. The girl was EMT certified and was able to help Rex. She wrapped his foot and helped get Rex back to the car. On the way home, Rex was fading out due to the excursion he made to the car. We got him some water and onto the couch to rest. Later that evening he was finally convinced by his buddy, Tom to go to the doctor. We made an appointment at the Urgent care in Eagle Mountain. The APRN met with Rex and suggested that he get an MRI, physical therapy and prescribed some pain pills for him. A week later, Rex started to experience tightness of chest, breathing problems, and exhaustion. We thought for sure he had COVID so we were treating him as if he had it. He was quarantined in the basement. I would mask up and take care of his basic needs: feeding, bathing, dressing, and transporting him on the knee scooter. On Friday, July 31st Rex had just finished having an epsom salt bath. He mentioned feeling no pain and was enjoying every minute of it. Coming out of the bath was to the point of exerting every ounce of energy that he had. He was gasping for air. Once Rex was dressed and had some time to rest, he finally told me that he needed to go to the hospital. I was able to get our next door neighbor, Kevin and the Elder's Quorum President, Brice to come over. They tried to figure out a way to get Rex up from the basement. At this point, Rex was going in and out. Kevin made the call for me to call 911. Within 5-7 minutes, EMT were at our house. They checked his vitals (blood pressure, EKG, etc.) One of the EMT said that his vitals looked great. Rex said a couple of times "I need air, I need air!" They lifted him out on a tarp stretcher and transported him to American Fork Hospital. I went over in my car while the kids stayed with the Bangerter's daughter, Maren and her husband, Nate. Once I got to the hospital, they took me back to the consultation room. Bill, the Social Worker came in and updated me on Rex. Then the doctor came in and told me that they were working on Rex. At this point, I didn't know he had gone into Cardiac Arrest. He told me that they were able to get a couple of pulses, but after 1-11⁄2 hours they had tried about 7 times to revive him and give him medication to break up the blood clot, but to no avail. He passed away around 9:30 p.m. that evening. When the doctor and nurse shared the news and their condolences with me, I couldn't believe what was being said. I was in shock!! Was this just a bad dream? No, it was REAL! I contacted my parents and let them know. My mom was in tears, she couldn't believe it. They came to the hospital to pick me up. I came out with the nurse and just remembered seeing dad and mom waiting by the emergency door entrance, masked up. We embraced, despite the social distance rules. I went back to my parents house. Jared and Stef came as well. Jared and dad were able to give me a priesthood blessing. I decided that I needed to go home and tell the kids face to face. I made the call to Maren.

At about 12:30 a.m. I made it home and told the kids. The girls were still awake, but Ace was sound asleep. Stef and Jared were there for support. I couldn't believe it, but the girls took the news better than I imagined. Charsi was bubbly and upbeat. Sadie had tears welling up in her eyes, but was so strong. Jared gave each of the kids a priesthood blessing of comfort and strength during this difficult time.

Since Rex's passing, the love and support that we have received as a family has been unreal!! A Go Fund Me was set up by my neighbor and ministering sister, Keely. People have donated money via VENMO. Meals and treats have been brought in. Many texts, phone calls, and visits have come. I have felt the prayers and love from others during this time. I feel like I have been carried and buoyed up during this time.

After Rex passed away he was tested for COVID. The test came back negative. His body was sent up to the medical reviewer for an autopsy. The cause of death was a pulmonary embolism (bloodclot to the lungs). He is survived by his loving wife, Stacie and 3 beautiful children; Charsi (10), Sadie (8), and Ace (6). His father, Rick (Linda), mother, Donna (Wayne), brother, Jed (Kat), sister-in-law, Bonielyn Warner (Brandon), and many friends. We want to thank all of the medical staff at American Fork Hospital for their hard work, amazing family, friends and neighbors who have come to our aid. We love you and are so grateful for you!!
Love, the Caffee Family